The realities of online dating

With so many dating apps and sites to choose from it can appear as though there is an endless selection of potential partners to pick from.

However for anyone who has tried online dating you may find using such a method to approach people presents some challenges. 

Online dating no longer presents the same taboo as it did 10-15 years ago, it is far more socially acceptable to admit you are dating using apps, with many people knowing of at least one person who has met a partner online.

However the question, is it a numbers game presents itself?

It is simply a case of swiping as many people as you can in the hope that you will win big in the lottery of love?

Well in our experience of matchmakers, meeting thousands of singles over the past 7 years, we have found online dating presents many challenges, and can feel more like an addictive game of candy crush, rather than a game of happily every after.

First of all if you are going to have an online profile, you need to first think are you concerned about having your personal business out there for all to see, including family friends, colleagues and even exes.

Putting yourself online, means you are leaving yourself open to exposure. Something some of our high profile clients, who take themselves very serious in business, or have celebrity status, are often uncomfortable with.

You are also leaving yourself open to being judged physically.

Lets say you know you are attractive in person, as in you take good care of yourself, have a good sense of style, are charismatic, yet in photos, you don't feel you look as attractive.

Online, you are very unlikely to get responses, or get approached, unless you appear physically attractive in the first instance.

You can improve your chances, by having good photos taken in an appropriate setting. You only have a few seconds to create a good impression. 

And if you are in pictures with a group of friends, looking like you've had too much to drink, or an unclear, unflattering angled photo, can make all the difference in whether you get success online. 

We provide a photography service, which has seen many of our clients; see a real turn around in their level of positive responses.

Maybe you are a great conversationalist, but your text banter is not on top form. This is really hard to get across, when online dating is based on sending a series of messages to build rapport.

Often the tone in which you intend doesn’t; come across. 

And what may have been a lighthearted joke on your side could easily cause offence on the other side of the screen.

You are in competition with the rest of the people hitting up their inbox. Unlike the days of when you could easily meet people down the local pub, and hit it off straight away. 

Now you have to work to get the persons attention to get to meet them in person in the first instance, whilst competing for their attention, while a swarm of other people are putting on the charm. 

You may think you're hitting it off, only to stop hearing from them, for no apparent reason.

Which leads to another point, are you likely to be treated courteously online?

Because people have a number of different conversations on the go, may decide they are tired of using the apps, maybe got back with an ex, meet someone else offline, or a number of reasons, which go unexplained. You can find yourself scratching your head, wondering where you made a wrong move.

Chances are its not you, its them, but people online don’t often feel they own you the courtesy of giving an explanation. 

As they haven’t had a real life connection.

One of the things we ensure happens as matchmakers, when we make introductions, is get feedback from both sides, so you are clear where you stand, as to whether you should look to take things further.

What has been your experience of online dating? We would love to hear from you!

 

 

 

 

SIOBHAN COPLANDComment